Pave Graphics Blog

Actual examples from our nation’s exam papers..

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a tumble dryer.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that
used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the
door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn’t.
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“The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch, even on a sunny day.”
(CHRIS JONES, Evening Standard)

“What will you do when you leave football, Jack — will you stay in football?”
(STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live)

“Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot.”
(RAY WILKINS, speaking on BBC1)

“I’ve got a gut feeling in my stomach…”
(ALAN SUGAR, speaking on BBC1)

“I would not say he [David Ginola] is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.”
(RON AKTINSON in a TV interview)

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Hilarious actual headlines from the Ali Abbasi joke book… http://www.amazon.com/Ali-Abbasi-Joke-Book-Bk/dp/190323834X

1. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
2. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Cut In Half
3. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
4. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
5. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
6. Panda Mating Fails – Veterinarian Takes Over
7. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
8. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
9. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
10. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
11. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
12. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Queue
13. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half